Monday, January 30, 2012

Bloke in distress..

He did it again!

Well, I don’t mean to write long and convoluted article on this. Some pictures would do the talking.

Afiq's limousine

The damage

Holy sh*t!

Pak cik masjid's car

Taking a deep scrutinize on the damage

This is the bloke that I'm talking about. Face of relief after being rescued.

Till the next post...cheers!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

-the war and phobia-


Hi guys!! How you’ve been doing? I know it’s been forever since the last entry, but believe me, 2012 is totally crazy and this year I need to be very serious in my studies. Hopefully this spirit would live within me for the next 4 years more. B.Ed Tesl is crazy! 

Well this entry is gonna be a trip down memory lane to my final year of primary school where I was in Year 6. Since the World trade centre had collapsed few years ago in 2001, the term ‘Islamophobia’ is often heard since then. Just before the mind-quivering incident haunted the Americans and the term like ‘Islamophobia’ being introduced to the world, we have already make used of the suffix ‘phobia’ and come up with the term like ‘aquaphobia’, ‘claustrophobia’, 'Anglophobia' and the list goes on and on. I believe that everyone has their own phobia. And yes I do have one.

A strong unreasonable fear of this frigging ‘thing’ a.k.a the phobia to this ‘thing’ began when I was in standard 6 in S.K Kamil (2) in the year 2003. It was at a calm weekend on Saturday. A bunch of lunatic closed-friends decided to hang out together over the weekend. We were so much under the games-war influenced that we finally decided to play the game WAR between us. After being busted many times at school for playing the WAR game during the recess hour where it’ll involve lot of running, hiding, ambush, shooting well not to mention shouting, our guns were also being confiscated by the disciplinary teachers that we decided only to play the game during the weekend. 

Airsoft gun

The bullet (courtesy of google)

Airsoft gun

The airsoft gun was a symbol of a macho and dignified-man back then in our school. Most boys would have one of these amazing guns. It was very important to have the original made of the airsoft gun to make sure the bullet won’t ricochet off the target. I used to buy the Thailand-made airsoft gun once before, where the bullet would take by the wind every time I pulled the trigger and of course my friends would laugh at the top of their voices at me. 

At that day, we decided to play the game between us. There were Umar, Cupok, Ammar, Farhan, Mat-Chah, Muiz, Judin and few more gathered at the Cupok’s house which is also my English teacher house. Cupok’s father was also our English teacher. Just before the war begins, we need to pledge that every of us need to obey the rules and regulations that we all have agreed upon playing the game. The rules is simple, we need to avoid shooting at the face and ear, and also the player need to be honest once they’ve been shot, they have to lie prostrated pretending that they’ve died terribly awful. Every player would stash some folded newspaper underneath their shirt at the front and at the back too, acting much like a bullet-proof vase used by S.W.A.T teams. Though the bullet of the airsoft gun is freaking small like a bead, but the pain it caused is amazingly painful and sure the small bruise like the bug bite would join in later. Very much like paint-ball game but the cheaper one. 

This time I’ll be the bad guy, where I have to conquer the coop behind my friend’s house. It was not long after we started the game, the shrieking of Judin my bad-guy companion could be hear followed by hordes of thuds of good-guy-companions after him, shooting him to death. I hunched not to reveal myself to them. The ultimate objective is to conquer the coop that I made my decision to stay low and cautious beside the coop. At some distance, I could see the good-guy-companions were gathering under the gazebo, while having Judin as their prisoner. Judin was dead. I have to forget my ambition to conquer the coop at that time as I was all alone by myself. It’s too dangerous, it’s not about you shooting at random but it’s about a well-planned strategy. I have to wait for my bad guys to show up, I was very sure that they were somewhere not too far. The good guys were now splitting into two groups; it’s time to make the move now. I got up and heading straight to the bush. That’ll be my shelter for a moment while waiting for my bad guys to show up and only then we would attack the good guys to take over the coop and widen our perimeter. 

As I was sitting duck in the bush, I heard something fast running towards me. I gripped my gun harder than before while my half-witted brain raced, running over all the possibilities. The adrenaline was pumping all over my body, I was very sure the good guys were planning to ambush me and here they’ll come. I gripped my gun firmer; aiming to the possible target ahead of me where all of a sudden something big enough to fit my thigh hit me from my back. It was something that scaly, rough, hissing like a mad at me. One thing for sure it wasn’t the good guys it was a type of reptile that has four legs and a long tail in other word it was a BIAWAK/Lizard. I was dumbfounded that neither ‘IT’ nor me budge. It was the longest few seconds I ever had in my life. It was the nearest experience I ever had in entire life. I was so sure that the thing had touched my skin that I could feel that thing was so rough and scaly. After a few seconds, I ran out from my hiding place while screaming like a maniac. The good guys team thought that I was so determined to attack them that they had profusely shot me. I was almost demented in mad and fear of that thing. None of my friends aware of what had happened to me at that time not until they pulled the trigger only to find that I did not respond according to what we had agreed . I was shivering and sat on the ground, perspiring heavily and vigorously. I told my friends about my dangerous encounter with the damn F***ING thing. They were all grimaced in a twisted face of fear and disgusting. The incident had stopped the war between us. The bad guys showed up. Mat-Chah and the bad guys team told us that they had feared the ‘thing’ that it was so shocked to run into the bush and eventually hit me. And I was like ‘WADAAAAAAAFAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*’.Reminiscing all these had made every single of my body hair went up straight in the air. 

Ever since that day, I don’t have the guts to go into the woods, or fruit orchard alone because of that 'thing'. That damn effing 'thing'!! It was really unpredictable. Yes it's true, I've seen on Nat Geo channel. That 'thing' is like a survivor machine, it'll do anything to survive. They able to eat people, their saliva contains many dangerous bacteria that able to topple even the biggest moose in the world in less than 4-5 hours. The 'thing' is able to chew you!! Do not make any contact with this 'thing'. If you see this 'thing' on the road, just run over them!!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A tale of woe

  The top seemed peculiar; no fan could be seen hanging. The blanket wrapping my body too looked odd and old. A neighbourhood rooster crowed once then twice and then silent, completely silent, indicating that it was already in the morning. Ohhed-ahhed, I straighten up my nerves. I stood on my feet; the cold that I used to feel upon stepping on the floor could not be felt that day. I slowly tiptoed and unopened the door widely. For a minute, I stood in front of the door, no-one else could be seen, neither mum nor dad. The surge of angry, sad and betrayed overwhelmed me that unshed tears occupied my eyes. My face twisted in a grimace of sorrow, a child looking for his parents straight from bed. The clinking of metals can be heard from the kitchen, I stormed to kitchen, burst out crying. Soon after that, pairs of rough, warm hands circled me, calming the aggrieved me. It was a lot of relief, touch of healing. She’d then give me her nice words telling me that mum and dad were gone for work and they will get me something once they returned. The twisted face morphed to neutral. She grabbed my Donald duck backpack which mum had stashed some clothes and toys inside, unbuttoned my pyjamas, and then led me straight to the bathroom which door made of zinc. 

Pails and after pails of water being poured onto my head, accompanied by her singing of ancient, never-heard-of song. The water was really cold that I shivered and my nails turned to slightly blue. I looked up, she was wearing a black scarf covered half of her head unveils some of her greys. She sat me on a chair in front of a mirror then after awhile of make-over session, the image of a geek boy could be seen emerged in the mirror reflecting my image. I was amazed by how she had transformed me from out-of-bed look into this. “Mari make(makan)” she raised her hoarse voice. A plate of fried rice and a cup half full of ‘Teh Susu’(Milk Tea)were readily being served on the wooden table. The table looked exactly like the flotsam and jetsam that had been washed ashore. I took a deep scrutinize into the plate, there were a lot of green leafy veggies and kedgerees could be seen. “Mok, banyok sayur dop sedap!” I groaned of too much veggies and I hated it so bad. There were no chicken frankfurters, eggs just how mum served me in the morning. “Ehh! Tok leh keno make sayur!” She replied. Oh god! I loathed her for luring me into something I hate. 

Whenever my parents go for work, I’ll have to stay with her till night depending on the day. Sometimes I need to stay overnight. Dad and mum seemed so busy with their work. Dad was always outstation, but once he returned, there was no regret, it was always something he bought me home. There was a day, I need to stay overnight and I hated it. She sat closely beside me, munching on the ‘sireh’. My aunt the youngest sister of my mum was still schooling at that time. She was resting on her chest jotting something on her book. I sat leaning to a wall, scanning through every corner of this wooden house. At a distance, puff of smokes could be seen. I always fascinated about the fire or smoke, I was a pyromaniac, but she sternly warned me not to get close to that smoke. It’s poison. It was crucial for it to be kept ignited the whole night, to keep mosquitoes away from us. Sometimes, when I got mosquitoes bite, my skin would swell into florid, and she would spit some of her ‘sireh’ on the affected area. It was seriously disgusting, but there was no effort of removing it, in fact I’ll let it dried and washed afterwards. I continued watching the telly. The programme was ridiculously crap! I loathed it so much. I wished I could go home, sleeping in air-conditioned room, no mosquitoes and most important is that I could watch anything I love. But I was binned here. I was getting sleepy that she led me to her room. There was my Donald Duck backpack close to my pillow where I rested my head. Beside me, it was her pillow where she’d sleep. Her husband would sleep on the bed under the mosquitoes net. He was just like Captain Hook where every child afraid of him, including me. I rarely made eye contact with him, and he rarely spoke to me either. Better in that way cause he was just like a Cerberus when he was angry. The best part finally arrived, when she would lie and began her bedtime stories while at the same time tapping on my hip. It was the same story being told over and over again, magically I never tired of hearing it; in fact there were always lot and lot of questions that I’ll ask once she finished her story. The story would always about ‘Sang Kancil dan Harimau’, ‘Bawang Putih Bawang Merah’, ‘Mat Jenin’, ‘Batu Belah Batu Bertangkup’ and ‘Askar Jepun’. The story was really soothing. There was some days where I purposely told her I want to ‘shit’ though I was not and she would tell me “Oghe dop berak male-male buto nih! Ado bok-bom”. Then she’ll started singing while tapping lightly on my arse,

“Tidur...Jubo tidur
Tidur Dalam Lalang,
Tidur Jubo tidur
Jangan ajar berak malam.

p/s: I’m sorry for the word Jubo(ass).It’s vital to maintain the originality.
I was almost burst out laughing upon catching this song. The song was really ridiculous but that’s the song she sung me every time I asked to ‘shit’ in the night. Well sometimes its work, sometimes it’s not. 

I grew older day by day. I grew a lot mischievous too. Every time dad and mum off to work, I’ll stay with her even after school. The school bus would drop me off in front of her house. From a distance, I could see her in the kitchen busy preparing the lunch for the whole family. She was really a good cook, traditional food I’d say. She sucks at modern cuisine! After school I supposedly to attend religious class organized by a wife of Imam near to her house. Sometimes I’d skip the class, mostly I did. She’d nag at me like hell, and then reported every detail to my parents. I hated her for god sake! There was a time when I purposely disturbed the hens and without realization I broke one of its eggs. She learnt it then she told Captain Hook and the next thing I learnt, I was being kept imprisoned in the ‘Rebang Ayam’(chicken house/coop) behind her house. I was sitting on the ground inside the coop, crying, wishing that my parents would instantly emerge. It was her came to get me. I was so blind, so blind that I could not see her. All I knew was I love my other granny, my father’s mother. She’s rich. She was always getting me things I want and would always give me a lot of money. I solely saw the money, money could buy the happiness. I was so blind, blind that I could not see her.

To be continued...